First Blog: Who I am

Dear unknown readers,
Since I am assuming that nobody will end up reading this I will probably end up going all out on this blog. My name is Erin, and I'm a 19 year old woman living in the ghetto of Springfield, Ohio. I work two jobs, and I'm engaged. My fiancee and I are getting married July 29, of 2008. We currently live together, and this has caused more problems than I ever imagined it would. I've heard lectures on how I am going to hell, screwing up my life, and even ruining my credit. Anyway, getting back on track, my fiancee Robert and I were together for about 9 months before I finally decided to play video games with him, and needless to say I was instantly hooked. We play together a lot which is great because it's like our hobby together. We got an XBox 360 about 4 months ago and I play it all the time. I have my own gamer tag, CutieGotBooty, and I've gotten decent, I think. My game is Gears of War, and it's like my coke, I am absolutely addicted. However, I think I really needed a place to vent. (Here's where my "bitching" starts) I am absolutely tired of getting on XBox live and getting shit talked to me because I have a vagina. I don't like getting told that the game world is a man's world. But, what I hate most of all, being told that because I don't have a penis, the guys in the room are going to take it easy on me. I hate that worse than being asked how big my boobs are, if I suck d!ck, or if I weigh 300 pounds. My boobs are small, my sexual life in no one's business but mine and my fiancees, and I weigh 110 pounds because I honestly never eat the way that I should. But the worst feeling in the history of me playing on XBox live, was today. I was in a room, 4v4, 19 rounds, and by the end of the match, I only had 7 kills. We played about 25 rounds. Compare that to my 22 kills in the 30 rounds I had played just the match before, and I would say that I completely blew in the match I only had 7 kills in. Here's where it gets bad. Guys were trying to be nice to me, saying that I was doing really good and that they were surprised that a girl could do so good in Gears of War. That pissed me off. Honestly, I felt like a little kid who tries to act grown up, and adults are like, oh that's so cute, but they are thinking that it is cute because he's not an adult. I felt like that. These guys seemed to think it was cute for a girl to be playing video games, but it was like what they really thought was that I was a guest. Girls can't play video games, right? It's a man's world right? I hate getting told to go play Barbie, or cook dinner. It really makes me feel like crap. But today, those guys made me feel like an outcast. I know they were trying to be nice, but they actually hurt my feelings. I am a gamer. I am a female gamer. And I'll tell you something about my personality: I have always wanted to be better than the boys. I have so much respect for women who compete in sports like surfing and skateboarding, and actually get good at it. Girls that are as good as the guys if not better. I tried both and was never able to catch on. So knowing that I am getting good at this game, to see my rank go up, to hear a room full of guys tell me I'm good and genuinely mean it, those are great feelings. Playing this game has made me so much stronger. I feel confident for the most part. Plus, I know I can handle my own. After a long day of getting stepped on at my jobs. I know I can come home and crush other players on Gears of War.